Stupid Questions. . .over and over and over. . .

[Cryptly]

People at work know I keep odd critters for pets, and I get these questions a lot. (included with answers I would love to give, but don't because I have the delusion that I can actually educate some of these people.)

"Dose it bite?"
Yea, anything with a mouth can bite. . .

"Is it poisonous?"
No, but I'm sure my stomach wouldn't be too happy if I ate it.

"Was it defanged?" (about tarantulas)
It couldn't eat if it didn't have fangs. . .

"Why?"
Because I want to keep people like you out of my house.

"Aren't you afraid it will escape?"
I don't want it to escape, but the thought of escape doesn't induce fear.

"Won't that thing kill you if it bites?" (about a Cal King snake)
If she happened to start chewing on an artery she could probably kill me. . .

"What do you feed them?"
People who ask too many questions and small yappy dogs. . .

(on frozen/thawed mice) "How can they still be alive if they're frozen?"
They're genetically engineered mutant mice.

"Are those colors natural?"
shhh. . .She gets a dye job once a month and is rather self-conscious about it.

 

[Golden Gate Geckos]

LOL!!!

 

[brandy101010]

Hahaha!

 

[The NY Gecko]

This is a Bill Engvall heres your sign kinda thing. Sounds just like the one i posted about the court cases. I love the sarcasm, your my hero ;-)

 

[GeckoStud]

Great comebacks LMFAO

and yes people do ask too many dumb questions...

 

[Gary Orner]

LMMFAO......... That is great

 

[silentjohn]

For the first one, I actually do give that answer. You always hear from people, or pet stores.........."He never bites", or "this kind of snake doesn't bite", etc. I always tell people "this particular snake has never bitten me, but it has a mouth/teeth so........................."

 

[RaiQuee]

I work in a pet store and I give the first one out like candy XD I tend to blow it out of proportion a little, because I enjoy seeing the little kids faces in horror when I say, "Ehhh he probably can getcha to bleed pretty good..."

 

[nora]

i love the questions i get about venomous snakes... granted that i dont know EVERYTHING about hots cuz my name isnt scott bice, ray hunter, chuck hurd or bill haast.. some of the questions i get are down right stupid..

especially the classic... is it poisonous? question.. grrrrrrrr!!

now anyone who asks me if a snake is poisonous will get the same redundant answer that everyone else gives... there is no such thing as a poisonous snake!

however there is only one person that i will make an exception for when they ask that question and it is my mom, because she really doesnt know the difference and explaining her the whole deal gets confusing for her (she's had very poor education growing up in the philippines)

 

[rrhill]

Its "poisonous" if you're eating it, its "venomous" if its eating you. Thats how I explain it.

 

[The NY Gecko]

Its "poisonous" if you're eating it, its "venomous" if its eating you. Thats how I explain it.

LMFAO, thats great. Tell the kids theyll know its venomous when they notice the excruciating pain and their skin starts to look a tad diff than usual.

 

[Jeanne]

(on frozen/thawed mice) "How can they still be alive if they're frozen?"
They're genetically engineered mutant mice.

"Are those colors natural?"
shhh. . .She gets a dye job once a month and is rather self-conscious about it.

People seriously ask you these questions?????????? :main_lipsrsealed:

 

[Smiling Kitty]

At the pet shop a lot of people ask if the animals are alive. Do they think we have stuffed animals for sale in the cages? I don't know about all of you but I would not pay $75 for a stuffed bearded dragon.

One lady kept harping on & on because an African grey was sleeping with one leg tucked under him. She swore up & down that he didn't have the other leg no matter how many times I told her that it was normal and healthy for a bird to sleep with one foot tucked in its feathers. I finally had to wake the bird up to get him to put his other foot down just to shut her mouth.

Another African grey has a lot of red feathers all over his body. It's called a red factor. I had one person swearing that the bird was bloody. I explained to him that it was not blood but red feathers. The guy came back 3 days in a row to see if the bird had died from blood loss yet. A real genius especially when I let him hold the bird and he saw the red feathers close up.

Then you get the people who ask about keepng two Cal-kings in the same cage. I tell them they can't because kings are snake eaters and it's always best to house all snakes separately anyway. I usually get a little smirky remark from them something like: "If you can't keep them together, how do you breed them?" To which I reply "it's a long & drawn out process that I don't have time to explain now. I'm sure Google could help you."

Then they think every milk snake is poisonious (yeah I know). They think every snake has fangs. They think every snake gets 20' and eats babies. They think the baby beardies are fence lizards that are in their back yards. They think the redfoot tortoises are box turtles that are in their back yards.

AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON. I could write a book on the ignorant, idiotic and downright rude things people have said to me over the past 6 years. It sure has been an education. I have to completely ignore these people or bad things come out of my mouth. If I believe they are truly asking a question, then I will educate them. I mean not everyone knows the difference in a milk snake and a coral snake. Not everyone knows what venomous means as opposed to poisonious. Not eveyone knows snakes are not slimy.

I do try to educate when I can if I think the person is sincere. However the vast majority of the people who ask the idiotic questions are just trying to bait me and I no longer take their bait. I just let them have their fun and they leave quicker.

Here are some good one liners:

What idiot would pay money for a snake? (hmmmm I did over n over)

Do you actually sell any tarantulas? (we sell tons)

You keep snakes . . . . in your house? (yeah where else would I keep them?)

Where do you keep the normal pets? (To me reptiles are normal)

I know the price tag says hamster but it looks exactly like a mouse.

Look an alligator (while looking at a leopard gecko).

Look an alligator (while looking at a blue tongued skink).

Why is this parakeet $1000? I called the other store and their parakeets are $12. (it was a greenwing macaw she was looking at, not a parakeet. LOL)

Does this dragon breathe fire? (while looking at the beardies)

Do you want me to go home and get my gun and shoot all these snakes for you? (I wasn't real nice to that guy)

Do button quail talk? (I have to admit I laughed out loud at that one and the lady got mad)

I want a snake that eats vegetables. (is there such an animal?)

I want an animal that does not bite. (I tell these people to buy a stuffed animal.)

I want a low maintenance animal . . . I want a ferret, a bird, a guinea pig, a rabbit, etc.

Fully half the snakes we have "look exactly like copperheads or cottonmouths."

The tag says, "Texas Ratsnake" and at least once a day someone misreads it to say rattlesnake. They ask me if rattlesnakes are legal to sell and I say "No, not legal at all". I love the look on the people's faces when I say that. It makes my day. :main_laugh:

Edited cuz I'm rivaling Robin on how many typos I can make. :main_robin:

 

[M_surinamensis]

A venomous animal IS poisonous but a poisonous animal is not guaranteed to be venomous. Much like a square is also a rectangle but the reverse is only situationally true...

Venomomous snakes ARE poisonous, since the broader term doesn't have an associated delivery method. Herpers tend to make the distinction and the (inaccurate) correction because it's useful within our little subset of animals to distinguish between the toxins produced by snakes and the toxins produced by amphibians... But venom is a poison.

Also, "fang" is another that we as a group misuse a lot. We use it to make the distinction between teeth and hollow teeth used to deliver venom. My dog has fangs though... and he doesn't produce any venoms. The common definition would just mean an enlarged tooth- which plenty of nonvenomous snakes have.

 

[Smiling Kitty]

Sorry but I haven't misued the word fang at all. Many animals have fangs, I know that, ferrets, cats, dogs, etc.

What I was referring to was the animals people see at the shop and say they have fangs. These animals do not have fangs, typical pet shop snakes: Cornsnakes and other ratsnakes, kingsnakes, milksnakes, ball pythons, gopher snakes, carpet pythons, rosy boas, Kenyan sand boas, BCI, etc.

The general public thinks all snakes have huge teeth i.e. fangs, that's what I meant.

 

[Cryptly]

A venomous animal IS poisonous but a poisonous animal is not guaranteed to be venomous. Much like a square is also a rectangle but the reverse is only situationally true...

Venomomous snakes ARE poisonous, since the broader term doesn't have an associated delivery method. Herpers tend to make the distinction and the (inaccurate) correction because it's useful within our little subset of animals to distinguish between the toxins produced by snakes and the toxins produced by amphibians... But venom is a poison.

Also, "fang" is another that we as a group misuse a lot. We use it to make the distinction between teeth and hollow teeth used to deliver venom. My dog has fangs though... and he doesn't produce any venoms. The common definition would just mean an enlarged tooth- which plenty of nonvenomous snakes have.

I do try to explain this to those who seem interested in actually learning about venomous things, but, as you can see from some of the questions I posted, a lot of my coworkers aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer (putting it mildly). So, I try to keep it very simple. . .I don't want to overload the few functional braincells they've got.

 

[M_surinamensis]

Sorry but I haven't misued the word fang at all. Many animals have fangs, I know that, ferrets, cats, dogs, etc.

What I was referring to was the animals people see at the shop and say they have fangs. These animals do not have fangs, typical pet shop snakes: Cornsnakes and other ratsnakes, kingsnakes, milksnakes, ball pythons, gopher snakes, carpet pythons, rosy boas, Kenyan sand boas, BCI, etc.

The general public thinks all snakes have huge teeth i.e. fangs, that's what I meant.

The boids... I'd consider to have fangs. I went looking through a few boxes that were stacked in my "guest bedroom" at a couple preserved things I've had for decades, I had a couple complete snake skeletons and was going to point out that the boids all have teeth which were over twice the length of other teeth in their mouth- which would qualify as a fang to me, especially when coupled with the enlongated curved to a point shape and the way those teeth are used in prey collection... But I couldn't find them. I found what appeared to be a tiger salamander larvae preserved in alchohol- which was a poor choice- but none of the bugs, skulls or random teeth.

You could probably do a web search and find images though.

I suppose it's a matter of perception coupled with precision. I tend to either aim for an exact and correct answer or just refuse to try helping if I don't think they're asking the right questions or won't be able to "get" the answer. Some people feel that partial information or situational answers are the best, even if blatantly inaccurate.

 

[nora]

fangs are teeth, just as teeth are fangs.. it's all in dictation and perception.

 

[rrhill]

Don't cornsnakes eat corn?

Damn I crack myself up....

 

[dot]

I am so using those responses when people ask me those questions from now on.

A few of my personal responses when I get asked about my animals:
- What do they eat?
-- Rainbows and farts.
- "Blood" python? Does it ... you know ... drink ... you know ...?
-- Yes. I'm not really Asian, I'm just really jaundiced.
- Do you keep your snakes all together?
-- Yes, in a 10G tank with a desk lamp and a dixie cup for water.
- Why do you want more snakes?
-- Since I can't really BE god, I might as well PLAY god. Snakes + Laserbeams. Do the math.
- Are you going to breed the pythons? Could you?
-- I could try, but I don't think that kind of union is legal in my state. Vermont or Hawaii, possibly ...

And ...
I'd like to share a story with you all kind of along the lines of stupid co-workers/pet stores:

I work at Petco. I apparently am the only one who can get the snakes to eat without trying to force-feed them. Anyway ...
My first week, I was feeding the snakes while a co-worker watched. I sneezed just as the baby ball I was dangling the F/T mouse in front of lunged and I got tagged in the finger.

CO-WORKER: I hope that's mouse blood, 'cuz there's a whole lot of it.
ME: Nope, mine.
CO-WORKER: It bit you?
ME: Naw, every once in a while, I get stigmatas on my fingers.
CO-WORKER: Is it poisonous?
ME: Crap, I hope not ...
CO-WORKER: I THOUGHT YOU KNEW SNAKES!!!!!!!
ME: I do, but I don't know if this thing's poisonous or not ...
CO-WORKER: OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!

At this point, my co-worker runs straight to the manager and drags him in.

CO-WORKER: Dot doesn't know if it's poisonous or not!
MANAGER: We don't sell poisonous animals. (Yet, we do sell firebelly toads which ARE poisonous, but I digress.) Are you OK?
ME: Fine. Just a bite.
CO-WORKER: Get her some anti-venom or whatever it's called!!!
ME: Balls aren't venomous.
CO-WORKER: I thought you said you didn't know!
ME: I don't know if they're poisonous ... I've never tried to eat one ...

Manager had quite a laugh and I think my co-worker hates me now ...